Changes

Something I've noticed during this pregnancy is the fact that changes don't happen over a week long period slowly, they happen all of a sudden. For example, all of a sudden my belly is huge and everyone asks how far along I am, but seriously the day before no one could tell I was pregnant. Or one night I'm sleeping just dandy and the next I'm tossing and turning, and turning is suddenly very difficult. One day I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Now I seriously have a nightly ritual of 2 Tums at about 5:30 for the heartburn. Baby used to give a kick every few days, one day last week she just decided she would kick all day long. That part is actually pretty cool, especially feeling what part of her body is where. I can now tell the difference between little feet and a big bum that's stuck in my ribs. I've found she enjoys the right side of my stomach and especially my right ribs, she must feel safe there. I wonder what the next changes will be? Not being able to tie my own shoes all of a sudden?

I'm officially done with college! I finished my student teaching last Friday and I feel so free. Sure, I have a TON of stuff to do for the business, but it's my own time now and I love that. The last day of school was really sweet. Those kids are the best, I'll post about them soon.

A birthday girl

My sister has a big birthday today. I so wish I could be with her to celebrate and eat lots of yummy food and dance around together. Instead I want to tell you why she is an amazing sister.

Always there to play dress up with. I don't know anyone else who I can always count on to dress up with and not need an occasion for it, I love it.

A true testament of an amazing sister. When I moved to New York City she came to visit me and it rocked. We got to see Phantom of the Opera, eat lots of yummy food, and walk around the entire city. Let's go back.

Another reason we're sisters. No one else can make as great of faces and poses as my sister and I. It must be the dancer in us.

I really shouldn't have posted this picture, my head looks ginormous. I have always been bigger than my sis. The joke was if I stood behind her my shoulders would still stick out, what can I say I have football player shoulders.

Thank you for pushing me up to level hard on Rock Band CoCo!

Did I mention she is seriously beautiful?

We look alike. That face wasn't planned, we're just that good.

CoCo I love you I'm so glad I got to be your little sister growing up. I'm glad you used me to play dress up and loved me so much. I'm especially glad I get to be not only your little sis but your friend now. I can't wait for you to be the best Aunt to my little baby the world has ever seen. Happy Birthday!!!!

Happy Halloween

Grant is not the easiest person to photograph. He doesn't love taking your "normal" picture. Don't get me wrong I love a good crazy face picture, they are SO fun. But there are times when I want some pictures for memories sake. This particular Halloween at the pumpkin patch was too good of a photo op to pass up, so we made a deal.

Grant got to choose the first pose. The looks on our faces tell all. (Get it my belly as the giant pumpkin?)

But...

I got this festive gem out of it, I'd say the trade off was worth it.

A belly

There's the belly at 21 weeks. She is growing growing growing! Friday night I could see her moving around and poking her little limbs out. This whole pregnancy thing is pretty cool I must say.

More about the baby

If you haven't noticed this baby takes up a lot of my thoughts! I'm just so enraptured by her and the fact that she's inside of me. I love it. Here's some awesome pictures, I'm sure she'll love me posting pictures of her little privates! During the ultrasound today she was SO shy with her little face. She kept turning it away from the ultra sound so we couldn't get a good profile. She finally turned just right only to stick her little arm in front of her face. So naughty already! But oh so cute. She was not nearly as shy about other parts... let's just say we have plenty of good shots to let us know she is DEFINITELY a girl. All of a sudden this pregnancy seems like it's going to take forever. I am so excited to meet our little baby girl.


On a totally different note, I can't forget to write about my little second graders. My naughty, yet adorable second graders. I have days where I come home just wishing spanking was allowed in school. Other days I come home feeling so refreshed and fulfilled. It's such a roller coaster. Even if I come home not loving them so much, the next day they will greet me with big hugs, smiles, and compliments about how cute I dress. They also LOVE to poke my belly. They are on constant belly watch and are not shy to let me know when, "Mrs. Romney you really look pregnant today," or on better days, "Mrs. Romney I can't even tell there's a baby in your tummy." They are so excited and ask me almost everyday if I will please bring her back when she's born in March. I totally will! It's been such a good experience being with them. It's been emotionally draining a well. Most of them come from such broken homes where either mom or dad, or sometimes both have left their lives. A lot of them talk about being home alone or with a sibling until 5 or 6 at night. Some of them come to school in the same clothes from the day before. I wish I could take them all home with me. I guess that's the hardest part, watching them walk right back into a home where they really shouldn't be. I have to learn to let go of the job, but it's so hard when I love them SO much.

Other then baby growing and teaching life is pretty normal. Grant is running our business like a champ and Texas has officially cooled off which I LOVE. We move into our new house in just over a week and I'm thrilled! I still don't really believe it's real, and I probably won't until we're sleeping there!

Traumatic

The last couple days have been a bit traumatic, but there was a wonderful, beautiful light at the end. Let me start from the beginning. I went to school on Friday just like normal. The day was fine, but at about 1:30 I felt this sharp stabbing pain in my left side straight through my back, within a minute I was on the floor rolling and screaming in pain. My mentor teacher Marnie took control and had the kids go out for recess and she knelt next to me and let me grip her hand. The next 20 minutes were filled with the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my entire life. It felt like someone was sticking a knife straight through my side through my back and moving it around. I could barley breath and I was drenched in sweat. They proceeded to call 911 and informed me to hold on for just a few minutes and the paramedics would be there. I literally thought I was dying and I was freaking out about what would happen to my baby. Marnie called Grant and told her what was going on and that he should hurry up here quickly. At won't point I lost feeling in my hands and feet, the paramedics later informed me that this happens when your body goes into shock because of such a high amount of pain. I kept wishing I would just pass out so I wouldn't feel the pain anymore. Well in the ambulance I remember hearing the paramedic call the hospital and fill them in on what was happening. They asked if they could give me anything for the pain, but the hospital said to wait especially since I was pregnant. I about died! 20 more minutes of this pain seemed like a lifetime. They kept asking me what is your pain scale and all I could do was hold up 10 fingers I couldn't get any words out. Marnie came in the ambulance with me and waited in the emergency room until Grant got there holding my hand the entire time. We got to the hospital and they informed me they would run some tests. The minute Grant walked through the door I started bawling, I was so scared, I didn't know what was happening to me or my baby. They finally started me on morphine, but because the pain was so high it took 3 doses to even lower the pain at all. After a lot of tests and A LOT of waiting in a hospital room the ultrasound technician finally came to check on the baby. I was so nervous, but Grant kept reassuring me that it would all work out. She instantly showed us the baby and saw the heartbeat, I cried some more. My baby was ok. After about 30 minutes of checking my kidneys through the ultrasound she said ok lets check all the stats on the baby, and asked if we knew the gender yet? We said we would find out in 2 weeks. She said ok good because I'm not allowed to tell you. Now I don't know if it was the sad, pathetic puppy dog eyes I was giving her or the fact that every time she pushed the ultrasound tool on my stomach I cried out in pain and she felt guilty, but she said if we promised not to tell anyone at the hospital she would tell us the gender. No brainer right? Yes Please! We asked her if it was too early to tell, she said she already knew.

It's a GIRL!!!! I beautiful, precious, miracle of a girl. Grant and I just looked at each other with this look of complete satisfaction and excitement. I still can't believe it, I can call my baby a she instead of an it!

At about 6:00 pm the doctor came in to talk to me. He said there was an 80% chance I had kidney stones. The only way to know 100% would be to give a cat scan but they can't do that while you're pregnant so there was no way of knowing. He gave me the option of staying in the hospital for another day or going home with a heavy dose of pain meds. He said the only reason to stay in the hospital would be to manage the pain because it would be pretty intense until the stone passed. I figured I'd rather be in pain in my own bed. While I was waiting to be discharged I asked the nurse if I was a wuss or if kidney stones are really this painful. She informed that a lot of women have said it's worse then child birth. I sighed a sigh of relief at that. While I know that child birth won't be easy, especially since I plan on going au natural, it was comforting to know I could make it through extreme pain.

Today has been A LOT better, I think the stone has worked it's way out and I've avoided taking any pain meds all day. And on a brighter note, I've spent the day bonding with the little sweetie in my stomach. This morning Grant and I had a little chat with her, and today I've thought about her ALL day long. It all seems so real now, I got a little choked up thinking about her first steps, first day of school, first date, first heartbreak, and all the firsts in her life. She is a real person and she is all Grants and mine. Life is good and hopefully I'm now kidney stone free thank goodness!

Naps and Vinegar

That is the best way to describe me lately. Vinegar! It sounds SO good all the time. Salt and vinegar chips, cucumbers in vinegar, vinegar poured on my sandwich, french fries in vinegar, you name it. It's hard to describe the intensity of a craving to someone who has never been pregnant. Like the other day at the movies, I REALLY wanted popcorn, but it's so expensive so I told myself no. But the entire movie all I thought about was the popcorn, and didn't really enjoy the movie. And I was angry with anyone I heard eating it, it's really intense. On top of my love of vinegar, my second love is naps. Saturday night I slept for 9 hours, took a 2 hour nap on Sunday, and still was exhausted by 9 o'clock Sunday night. Oh the joys of pregnancy! On a happy note look at that bump! Not much, I know, but hey this momma is feeling pretty proud. Other then I had to wear a skirt to school on Thursday unzipped. Not my proudest moment, but I covered it up with a cardigan. I guess it's time to go SHOPPING, who's coming with me?

This picture doesn't do it justice, it's way bigger than that!

The nausea is also finally gone gone gone! Ugh, that was a doozy, but I feel fortunate that it only lasted about a month. It comes back occasionally (I did throw up the other day while taking out the garbage), but other then that I'm feeling pretty good. Did I mention vinegar gives me nasty heartburn, shoot. Fulfill the cravings or feel the burn, pretty sure the burn is worth the joy vinegar brings me, and I just pop a couple Zantac.

I get to go to the doctor again on Wednesday, oh wait that means giving more blood. Scratch that, I have to go to the doctor on Wednesday. I'm pretty excited to hear the heartbeat again though, there is nothing in the world that compares to hearing another persons heart beat inside your belly.

I started my FINAL semester in the teaching program on the 29th, student teaching baby. It has been really fun so far, also very hard, but I knew it would be. The kids are the dang cutest things I've ever seen, but they are tough. The school is 70% Hispanic, and in my class there are just 7 white kids. That creates a lot of language barriers we are trying to break through, but I'm remembering some of my Spanish from high school and my little second graders are helping me out, it's pretty cute.

Grant is running our business like a champ. For a week there he was the only employee we had. Between 1 tech being let go, 1 tech moving away, and me starting school he was the lone man standing. Fortunately, we've hired 2 techs and today is their last day of training so Grant just has to man the office.

Oh, and I can't forget the happiness news of all, today the high was 83. It hasn't been 83 here since like May, and that is including night time. This morning I even went for a walk... outside! It was incredible. Don't worry it's only been over 100, 63 times this year. 63! Is that a joke? Oh Texas I promise I will love you again when you are beautiful in the winter.

Time to go drink some vinegar!

Still Suprised

Sometimes I catch myself still in a state of shock when I remember I am pregnant. As most of you know, that is exactly what I am, pregnant! There was a time when I was seriously doubting whether or not I would be able to get pregnant, and that is the reason for this post. I never want to forget the miracle of this little baby.

From fairly soon into dating Grant and I had discussed how many children we thought we would want and how soon we would want them. Once we were engaged we talked about it more seriously and thought 2 years of marriage would be a good amount of time, but we both knew I should finish school as well. In January of 2010 I started feeling a little antsy about having children, I kept having a feeling like maybe it was time to start trying. Although, both of us knew there would be no way for me to finish school if we did have a baby so we held off, but I never stopped thinking about it. In April I went off birth control because I wanted it out of my system in case we did decide it was time (and I hated being on it). I still remember my first pregnancy "scare," I guess you could call it. It was 2 months since I'd been off the pill and I still hadn't had a period. My sister in law Christy gave me a pregnancy test to take and I remember being SO excited and SO nervous to take it, I knew it would be a huge life changer. Then I remember the let down when it was negative. It felt like I was opening up a birthday present only to find an empty box. My periods finally came back, but never super regular.

Grant and I both felt very strongly that we should start trying, or at least stop preventing in August of 2010. I never tracked my periods, or ovulation, I just figured it would happen. But then it didn't just happen, and continued to not happen. By the time December rolled around I was getting a little worried about it. I went to a doctor's appointment in January for a UTI, and she asked if I was pregnant. I told her I could be and that my husband and I were trying. She asked how long and I told her 5 almost 6 months. And then she gave me this look as if she was saying something is not right with you then. Apparently at BYU the whole "wait a year" thing isn't the norm. She told me to wait until the end of the month and then she would refer me to the fertility guy. That was the pointed I started to panic a little bit. A month later I went to a dermatologist appointment and she informed me that she thought I had PCOS, or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Why would a dermatologist know anything about this? She didn't, nor should she have even said that. But, the seed was planted and I knew from ALL my research on infertility that PCOS was a HUGE factor in a lot of women being unable to get pregnant. At that point I became terrified. I called Grant on my way home and just started bawling and after he consoled me I called my mom and bawled some more. I was devastated. My hopes of getting pregnant were dashed right then.

Did I mention the entire would was getting pregnant during these months. I swear everyone I knew was announcing their pregnancies and as happy as I was for them, a part of me wanted to yell at them for being so insensitive to my problem (ridiculous right)?

The next few months consisted of more pregnancy tests and more throwing of pregnancy tests at the wall. I finally went to the Temple, duh Zaundra why didn't you go months ago right? In the Celestial room I just had the feeling of calm down, everything will work out and you will be happy. I felt peace about the situation. In April I was finally reunited with my husband after seeing each other once or twice a month for 4 months. My positive attitude was still intact. Then I started my period at the end of the month and all that positivity was out the window.

By the time June rolled around I was beginning to think we would be adopting our children and I was trying to come to terms with that. Grant and I decided that if we weren't pregnant by September we would see a fertility doctor. On July 9th Grant and I were grocery shopping and I was 6 weeks late, so I went to get a pregnancy test. Grant, trying to protect me told me not to worry about it, he didn't want to see me disappointed. But I told him "for some reason I can't give up hope, I'll just take it tomorrow and then at least I'll know," because not knowing was driving me crazy! Sunday morning I woke up knowing it was time to pee on my hundredth stick. I was just waiting for no line to appear, but then it did. I read the ENTIRE instruction manual to make sure I did everything right, I really thought it was a mistake. After a few minutes I went out to Grant in a daze and mumbled, "I think I'm pregnant." His response was really? I sat on his lap and cried for a moment and then we went to church and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I took 3 more pregnancy tests in the next day, all of them coming up as a clear positive. I WAS PREGNANT! It actually happened! The next week the nausea kicked in and I knew this was the real deal.

During this time I felt like I was the only person who couldn't get pregnant and it was super easy to put blame on myself and wonder what was wrong with me? But recently I've known a number of people who didn't have an easy road to pregnancy. It really is normal to take a while for everything to align just right, but if it's meant to it will, and the wait will be worth it. I realize a year really isn't that long compared to a lot of people who struggle much longer, but when you are wanting a sweet little baby, even a month feels like forever! I'm so grateful to be carrying this little babe and the amazing blessing and miracle that it is.

We're here... just busy.

So apparently starting a company takes a lot of time. I guess I should have known that. In between the work we've managed to squeeze in lots of family time. We love Texas, it's hot... real hot, but it's been good to us. Happy summer, maybe I'll be back to the blog world in full swing in August.

The Last 4 Years

Today I received my grades from my last semester at BYU. And while I was secretly terrified that somehow I was going to fail a class and not graduate, my fears were unnecessary. GPA: 3.9, my highest yet. I couldn't help but think back to my first semester at BYU. Winter 2008 GPA= 1.66. Woof. Not my proudest moment, but look where I've come!
Fall 2008: 3.0
Winter 2009: 3.5
Fall 2009: 3.6
Winter 2010: 3.81
Fall 2010: 3.86
Winter 2011: 3.91

So I'm not proud of the 1.66, but I am sure proud of the progression.

The grades aren't what I'm most proud of though. I'm proud of the friends I made, the husband I met, the life-skills I learned, and the hard work I put it. I'm done with college classes, my time at BYU and in Provo is done. I get teary eyed just thinking about it because I really did love my time there. So many amazing, life-changing things happened in that little town.

Lived with my best friends. We only got in a few fights and we're still friends, hallelujah.

Met a cute boy.

That cute boy became my first love.

Then we got married.

I made the most amazing new friends.

Became a teacher.

Met a family that will be in my life forever.

Utah was good to me. I have so many great memories of my time there. As I took my last walk across BYU's campus I couldn't stop crying. I'm so happy I got to do all that I did and experience all I did. Those 5 years will always bring a smile to my face.

Now I get to start a new chapter in Texas. I'm so happy to be back with my husband and continue our life together and make new amazing memories here.

Inspiration for Me

This semester has been interesting. Grant is in Texas and I am here. It's tough I won't lie, but I feel like I am learning and growing so much as a person. Let's just say when it rains it pours, for some reason trials in my life come in packages, is it that way for everyone? This quote just seems to tie it all together for me. Things really do fall into place, Heavenly Father really does have a plan for us, and He really does love us. I guess tonight I am just overwhelmingly grateful that I've finally come to the point of gratitude instead of sadness for having to go through the struggles in my life right now.